Visiting Colleges, Blogger's Block and Growing Up

Every once in a short while I have a really bad gut feeling telling me that I'm being unproductive, I ignore it like I do every time.

But not today.

To say I had an epiphany or an awakening is somewhat of  an overstatement, it's more like a process that has taken a very very long time for me to even start.

Being a lifelong "slacker" isn't as amazing as it is in the movies, being an underachiever starting at a really young age can really contribute to (or be a cause of; depending on how you see it) a person's low self-esteem; you feel useless and helpless so you give up before you even start.

Ever since I quit learning the violin 6+ years ago, I never took up an instrument. Whenever I felt like I needed extra money and my mother couldn't help me, I'd get depressed instead of looking for a job.

How is this relevant to looking for colleges? It is very much relevant. 

While colleges seek the smartest and most diverse students they also seek out passionate and ambitious young adults. So far so good, I'm smart (in certain areas) very diverse and very ambitious and passionate, but do I have what it takes to get up and actually execute one of the zillion billion gazillion ideas I have in my head? A couple of months ago the answer would've been a big fat NO.
If you're wondering why I would write about this now, simple; it's because I'm growing up. Not that I've been 5 years old for 17 years now (my mom would beg to differ with that), it's just that I'm starting to see things in a different light and I hope that my actions do start speaking louder than my words somewhere in the near future.
If anything, the past few days have taught me that there are kids my age out there, making a difference, and I sure as hell can be one of them. Being the colorful and interesting (HA!) young woman that I am, I might actually stand a chance in this big bloggerverse and maybe even in the bigger, more complex universe.
And some of the things I want to utilize this blog for are:

• Writing about the progress I make with time management and extracurricular activities during my stressful senior year, 
• Any new endeavors and hobbies I acquire/seek out.
• Creative writing and (a comeback to) poetry!!! 
• And as always, analysis of my surroundings, community, generation and pop culture.        

(I might mix in some of my newly acquired high fashion and fashion photography obsession, Oh yeah baby!)

So whoever you are out there, I give you this blog post for future reference in case I return to my bad habits, again, and you feel like yelling at me, please do.

NO MORE SLACKING (on my blog at least!!!) YA HEAR ME?

I'm not good at promises but I promise myself this and let's hope me doesn't end up disappointing me. ;)


Huda