Sometimes when I'm embarking on yet another late night adventure, in the midst of all the laughter and momentary happiness, I look at my "historical Palestine" necklace and think: "Would Leila Khaled approve of my loud unfeminine laugh? Would Suad Amiry cuss vulgarly about a person she hates in the company of "friends"? Would Suheir Hammad talk this openly about her love life in a game of Truth and Dare? Would Woroud Qassim side-eye me for wearing this mini skirt without shaving? What would any (and every) Powerful Palestinienne think about me if she met me? Are the dead female martyrs looking at me while rolling in their graves and thinking 'What happened to Palestinian womanhood'? If my mother was my contemporary and went through similar experiences, would she do anything differently?". But then I take a deep breath and remind myself: I am not a symbol or a representative of Women or Palestinians and I am definitely not a representative of both put together. I am my own self; a barely legal jumble of cyber-knowledge, street-smarts, clumsiness and naivety. I try my best to be a good Palestinian Woman. I try my best to be a good person. I try my best to be a good creature. I try my best to be good. I try my best.
I try.
And I hope the foremothers forgive me when I fuck-up.
The personal and the political, and where they intersect.
Showing posts with label Feminism. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Feminism. Show all posts
Monday, October 29, 2012
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Optimism and Gender roles.
I had a really shitty day yesterday and that hasn't happened to me in a while. I'm very blessed and I've been having a very laid back, chill and generally good time for the past couple of months! Even when I had finals and I was stressed beyond words, I still managed to smile.
What made me feel very bad was simple; failure. I'm pretty apathetic about school grades and failed relationships, but I never knew that not getting a spot on something I was eager to apply for could break me down this way.
But out of all the tears and disappointment I learned a lesson: Be confident but always expect the absolute worse.
That said, I'm done with the corniness and being preachy, now on to naggy/bitchy mode: My mother, who I absolutely adore and admire more than anyone else that has ever walked the planet, is a very traditional woman, indeed she identifies as a feminist and a liberal, but her religiousness and age always seem to conquer her more open-minded side in day-to-day life.
What has been bothering me lately is something very typical of an Arab mother/caretaker; her obsession with gender roles and expressions, namely in helping raise my baby male cousin (once removed), she seems to freak out each time he wants to wear any of my clothes or chooses pink over blue.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for calling him little man and teaching him how to play soccer and other traditionally masculine things, but seriously; a little kid wanting to play with a doll or choosing Minnie Mouse over Micky Mouse does not equal him becoming anything but normal.
It reminded me of this video that really made me think about how kids are pressured to fulfill the adult view of gender roles, which might not be that harmful since most of us were raised this way and a lot of us turned out fine, but you never know what kind of effect suppressing a kid's desire to be him/herself can lead to in their adulthood.
xoxo
What made me feel very bad was simple; failure. I'm pretty apathetic about school grades and failed relationships, but I never knew that not getting a spot on something I was eager to apply for could break me down this way.
But out of all the tears and disappointment I learned a lesson: Be confident but always expect the absolute worse.
That said, I'm done with the corniness and being preachy, now on to naggy/bitchy mode: My mother, who I absolutely adore and admire more than anyone else that has ever walked the planet, is a very traditional woman, indeed she identifies as a feminist and a liberal, but her religiousness and age always seem to conquer her more open-minded side in day-to-day life.
What has been bothering me lately is something very typical of an Arab mother/caretaker; her obsession with gender roles and expressions, namely in helping raise my baby male cousin (once removed), she seems to freak out each time he wants to wear any of my clothes or chooses pink over blue.
Now don't get me wrong, I'm all for calling him little man and teaching him how to play soccer and other traditionally masculine things, but seriously; a little kid wanting to play with a doll or choosing Minnie Mouse over Micky Mouse does not equal him becoming anything but normal.
It reminded me of this video that really made me think about how kids are pressured to fulfill the adult view of gender roles, which might not be that harmful since most of us were raised this way and a lot of us turned out fine, but you never know what kind of effect suppressing a kid's desire to be him/herself can lead to in their adulthood.
xoxo
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